Battling the Bulge

I have been wanting to start a blog for more than 6 months. My best friend introduced the world of blogs to me shortly after my wedding in May and I was hooked instantly! But, I always found other priorities and chickened out, time after time…

But in the past month, the penny has dropped. I have figured out that I have been going through this process for myself since August, but have only been half hearted and my lack of progress is obvious. I realized that I was sabotaging myself and if I didn’t give it my ‘all’, I was cheating - you guessed it - myself.

I give 1000% of myself in almost everything thing that I do - Why am I not worth it? Why aren’t I giving myself focus? Attention? Caring? Love? I have come to the conclusion that I deserve it - I really do. I have come to the crossroads - Either shape up now, or my health will start a serious decline, I thought. I am too young to be incapacitated by my weight - And it does affect me, more than I have ever cared to admit, until now.

I have this amazing unconscious capacity for denial. It’s like I wrap myself in a protective cocoon so I don’t feel hurt or shame or pain. But I have realized in some Zen-like fashion that those emotions are actually constructive in some ways. Too much is destructive, but if I keep it in perspective, those powerful emotions can be the fuel for my metamorphosis.

I have a looooooong trip in front of me. I have about 130lbs or around 60 kilos to lose. I will be riding this one for the rest of my life. But I promise myself that I will eventually say “Adios” to my ass, take one step at a time and actually ENJOY the process!

I would love to hear from anyone that is going through the same process. I think one of the keys to success is support. Good luck to all and I hope to hear from you soon!

xoxo
Melissa